By panda_eyed
Happy halloween everyone! I'm wearing some cool skellington earrings today, just to mark the occasion. They're soo cute! Unfortunately, Blogger is being a poo and won't let me post pics, so you'll just have to wait :p

This weekend, I had the privilege of meeting sweet Diva, Nags, Livvy and Amy at Diva's halloween party. They're such a lovely bunch, and the very gorgeous Diva put on such a spread! Go to Diva's for photos and commentary :) Diva's house was specially decorated, as you'll see in the pics. Her home is a lovely place that radiates love and warmth, just as the lovely lady does herself.

We were all instructed to dress up, and I think Dog had the best-costume as devil- dog with glowing eyes, with Nags coming in a close second as a zombie. The lovely Amy came as cat woman and Livvy as a playboy bunny. I went as a witch - what else? My unruly hair and love of black clothes means that I am perfect as one. I meant to wear some witchy nails but couldn't drive with them on, so they stayed home.

Sweet Livvy gave me a present - it's a 'grow yourself a prince'. Thanks Liv! He is right this moment sitting in a bucket of water, and I shall post 'before and after' pics when blogger stops being a pain. Dog stared at me a lot, he's very handsome dog, and I was very flattered. Or perhaps my witch outfit was a bit too authentic..? :) Henk was a bit shy on Saturday night, so I didn't get to meet him, bless :)

I had a lovely time at Diva's, meeting everyone. They're beautiful in pictures, but even more gorgeous in real life!

Memoirs of a Geisha - worth seeing?

By panda_eyed
Just too see what all the fuss was about, I read Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I didn't expect to be blown away, but I absolutely was, and I read the whole thing in a few days. If you haven't read it, you really should.

The book is written in the perspective of a poor fisherman's daughter, and follows her transformation into one of Tokyo's most famous Geisha. I can't explain why this book was so good, or so hard to put down, but it was truly enthralling. I guess, part of it was seeing the differences in Japanese culture and eroticism from our own (in my case, being a British-born Chinese). Golden succeeds in making Sayuri's character believable and lovable. What amazes me is how he manages to cross so many divides: male to female, Western-Japanese, modern day-1930's Japan in his writing.

Has anyone seen the film? It didn't get many great reviews, but I'm dying to see how all the characters were portrayed by the actors, and if they managed to get all of Sayuri's thoughts and emotions across on the screen. Not to mention seeing the aspects of 1930's Tokyo and comparing them to the picture I've built up inside my head.

Will I be disappointed?

I been tagged - Four things

By panda_eyed
Four jobs you've had in your life
Worked in our family-owned chip shop
Sales assistant in Dixons

Tour guide/student ambassador at uni
Editorial assistant for scientific publication (current)

Four jobs you wish you had
Researcher for TV
Food critic

Four Movies you can watch over and over
Meet Joe Black
The Goonies
The Incredibles
Deuce Bigolo 1 (not 2)

Four places you've lived in
Greenford, Greater London
London Bridge
Elephant & Castle
Uxbridge, Greater London

Four TV shows you love to watch
Desperate housewives
Mock the week
8 Simple rules

Four places you've been on vacation/travelled to
Hong kong & China
Athens & europe
Singapore & Malaysia

Four websites you visit daily

Four of your favourite foods
Thai green curry and rice
Vegetable stir-fried rice-noodles with lots of chilli oil

Curried crab with a coconutty sauce
Buttery mashed 'tato with pesto and a little cheese

Four things you won't eat
Watermelon, actually, any melon
Sashimi (raw meat/fish)

Four things you wish you could eat right now
A toasted brie and tomato baguette
Apple pie and custard

Pie, mashed 'tato and gravy
Tortilla chips and onion dip

Four things in your bedroom
Stacks of books
Piles of clothes
Racks of CDs and stereo
Full length mirror

Four things you wish you had in your bedroom
A sexy man
A cleaner/housekeeper because I'm sooo messy
A masseuse
A skylight

Four things I'm wearing right now
Grey wide-legged trousers
Black slash-necked jumper
Pearly nail varnish
A smile

One place I'd rather be right now
Under a snuggly warm duvet, watching sitcoms

One fictional place I'd rather be right now
On the flying carpet with Aladdin :)

Four people you'd really love to have dinner with
Richard Branson
Bruce Lee

Owen Wilson
All the lovely bloggers, eating Nikki's delicious food (poor Nikki does all the cyber coooking around here!)

Four things I'm thinking right now
I wish I didn't have to work today
It's a bit cold, should I turn the heating up?
What shall I have for lunch?
My head hurts

Four of your favourite things/people
My best friend

The internet

Anyone who wants to join in, please do.

Some whinging, some gossip, some weekend plans

By panda_eyed
First of all, anyone who doesn't want to hear about all my ills, skip to the blue paragraph for celebrity gossip..

Following last time's unshaven leg embarrassment at the hospital, I remembered to wax this time, for Monday's rheumatology consultation. Did they examine my legs? They did not. Sod's law. The outcome of this appointment? I don't have arthritis, rheumatism, glandular fever etc. So something else is causing these symptoms. They took more blood - might as well stick a canulla in there, they take it so often..

I went to my GP again on Tuesday morning, for my (still) sore throat. It's been 6/7 weeks running now, and the 10 day course of antibiotic's only made my wee smell icky but did nothing else. He told me (again) that there was nothing he could do for me, and did I have any ideas? I said if I did, I wouldn't need to come to him. Twat.

He eventually told me I possibly have CFS/ME. They've ruled out pretty much everything else. I've been referred to the chronic fatigue clinic and will do a course of hydrotherapy to see if that helps the muscle and joint pains. So a diagnosis at last. I'm not sure how I feel.

Ever since I read the list of ME symptoms, I've kinda known it was this. I guess I was still hoping that it was a little-known virus and that a simple course of the right antibiotic would cure me of it once and for all. Now though, I have to deal with the possibility that I might have to live with this for years, if not a whole lifetime. One thing I am glad of is that my symptoms seem to be mild, compared to what they could be. That's still not much consolation when I feel this exhausted and achy all the time. I'm tired of being tired.

Work have been very good though - I've been told I can work from home whenever I need to, and they've taken away some of my more admin-related responsibilities so that I can concentrate on editing. As Amy would say - Woot!! No more sending demeaning template emails and commissioning! Yay! I can't say that everyone's happy about that - especially the people given the extra tasks. Still, am am senior now, y'know ;) Hehe..

Anyway, I've been trying to think positively and not let this diagnosis bother me too much. I'm hoping that if I keep my body and brain active, maybe this will eventually disappear. It's easier said than done though, when you feel so exhausted inside and out. I'm going to stop talking about this now - I'm boring myself, nevermind you guys.

Yesterday, the company treated us to a team outing at the icerink, everything paid for, wasn't that generous? Guess who we saw there? Only Duncan from the Boyband Blue report that he didn't look as fit as he normally does, but then again, he was in baggy. I'm sorry to sports clothes and a cap. I suspect he was practicing for the show Dancing on Ice. You heard it here first! There was a funny moment when he fell on his backside, but generally he was quite good. I was surprised. As always though, with members of boybands, he always kept one eye on us laydees. I'd have him - but first we'd need to get him out of those baggy clothes. I'm sure he's got quite a body under there..

Guess who else fell ass-over-tit on the ice? No, not me (surprisingly) - my boss! There was a lot of choked-back sniggering at that point - no one wanted to openly laugh. I, on the other hand, can't control my facial expressions very well.

Pandy is going on a road trip this weekend! Admittedly, it is only the 120 miles to Birmingham but it will be Beepy's (that's my little car) first long trip. I feel okay about driving up there, but Beepy - well, he's just a little scared. He's trembling in his little tyres, the poor mite.. You see, he's not that confident at motorways, he's only a lickle bubby. The furthest he's been is London town, a mere 20 miles away.

But Beepy and Pandy are going up to Brum to stay with their friend and her family for Diwali - how cool is that? We are very excited. It'll be lots of yummy authentic food and spending time with good friends. Lets just hope Beepy keeps his nerve whilst driving up there, the silly thing :)

I probably won't be able to blog again until next week, so have yourselves a lovely weekend, and think of poor scared Beepy lots. We'll be thinking of you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Falling in lust

By panda_eyed
It was his cheeky-ness that first made me notice him. I liked that he could be playful, flirtatious, naughty and still have a touch of innocence and cute about him. He wasn't my usual type - a bit shorter than I like them, and with an edge of something dangerous. But that just made me all the more curious.

I met up with a bunch of girls - old friends - in bar I used to frequent as a student. There were plenty of old faces, but the one who really stood out amongst them was Fabio. I'd known him for a while - he was a friend of a friend, but whilst we'd say hello and make small talk every now and again, we'd never really talked properly before. On this night, although we were surrounded by friends, we only had eyes for each other. Our conversation was full of teasing, flirting and laughing, and I wondered why it had taken me so long to realise what a great person he was.

Later on, he asked me if I wanted to dance. With more confidence than I felt, I took him by the hand and led him to the dancefloor, wondering if he'd think this was too forward. I didn't have to worry - his fingers were already entwining themselves around mine. My heart leapt as I realised this attraction went both ways.

We danced to the soulful, rhythmic music - me leaning back against him, his arms around me, lips occasionally brushing my ear, sending thrills down my spine. I didn't want it to end.

Eventually, we made our way back to our friends, holding hands. I could see the curiosity emanating from the girls like steam from coffee. With an enigmatic smile, Fabio excused himself to get back to his boys, saying he would come back. The girls went crazy before he was even out of earshot! Questions were fired from all sides, and my heart sang so much that I could barely contain my smile. Nothing beats the feeling of falling in lust.

*Panda sighs* This, sadly, was my intensely detailed dream from last night.. It's the reason I've been smiling a lot today - falling in lust, whether in dreams or reality, is such a great feeling, isn't it? I wish I could find that again... Until then, I still have my dreams...

Does anyone else have such detailed dreams as I do?


By panda_eyed
My blog is taunting me. I am trying to work. It wants me to blog.. Naughty blog..

Stoppit blog, I'll blog in a minute.. tuh.. patience!

Hope you all had a good weekend :D xx


By panda_eyed
It always strikes me odd that some of the prettiest girls can find fault with their bodies, whilst so many ugly men think they are god's gift to womenkind. But everyone has things about their body they don't like, and I am no exception.

The things I hate about my body:
1. My African nose - it is short, squat and flat, and inherited from my dad's side of the family. It results from Jamaican blood on both sides on the family.
2. Oily skin - combined with 1., this means that I have difficulty wearing glasses because they slip down my nose faster than a fat woman on a water slide.
3. Afro frizzy hair - I turn into Diana Ross everytime my hair evens hears the word humidity or moisture (remember that episode of Friends with Monica's hair?!) .
4. My right foot is about half a size larger than my left - annoying when buying shoes
5. Big calves - they're not unshapely, just wider than average, and I have trouble buying knee-high boots that will do up comfortably :|
6. My chicken pox scars - I got c.pox at the age of 21, and the scars were horrible, despite me not scratching (very much). They're fading now, but I'm still very aware of them.
7. Body shape. The places where most women put on weight first are bum and hips. For me, the first place it goes is my tummy, then arms and boobs. This means I have a relatively slim bum, hips and legs, and a weird body shape. Also, when I lose weight, the first place it disappears from is my chest :|

Today, I am wearing my new boots that I bought over the weekend. They are suede, knee-high, pointy-toed, stiletto kitten-heeled, with a puss-in-boots fold at the top, and gorgeous! They're not the kind of thing I normally go for, having quite square feet. But I wanted to look and feel a bit more feminine, and get out of my comfy New Balances. Despite making me feel quite sexy, they are causing me quite a lot of pain - it's a bit like trying to squeeze a cube into triangle-shaped hole because of my square feet and the aforementioned bigger foot. My left foot isn't so bad, but I have blisters on the right one already. I would put on a plaster, but that would only make the boot tighter and I don't think I could honestly fit it in there.. :(

The nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me about my appearance was after I had chicken pox and very self-conscious about the scars. He told me that my 'so called' flaws only added to the character of my face, and hence, more unique and more beautiful, in his opinion. Even though I didn't really believe it at the time, I've never forgotten that.

National Poetry Day

By panda_eyed
I've been impressed by the beautiful poetry on everyone's blogs today, in honour of National Poetry Day. In particular, Feather's poem about her mother touched me a great deal. So I dedicate this poem that I wrote a few years ago to her. I imagine this would be the kind of thing Feather's mum would say to her, if she could.

Guardian Angel

I watch over you like a guardian angel
You sleep, blissfully unaware that I’m here
Even in your sleep you touch my heart
Nothings changed

I sweep a strand of hair from your face
You stir but do not wake
Deep in your dream, you smile
I smile to see it

I wonder what you’re dreaming about
I long to see what you see
With a finger I trace the outline of your mouth
And gently kiss your eyes

The sun comes out from behind a cloud
Illuminating your perfect features
You open one eye
And then the other

I watch as you lay there in bed
You reach over and pick up a frame
A photo of you and me
You run your fingers over the image

I see a tear course its way down your cheek
You wipe it angrily away
I wish I could find some way to tell you
I’m here with you still

And this is one by Jacques Prevert that I love, even though it makes me a bit tearful:

Dejeuner du matin
Il a mis le cafe
Dans la tasse
Il a mis le lait
Dans la tasse de cafe
Il a mis le sucre
Dans le cafe au lait
Avec le petit cuiller
Il a tourne
Il a bu le cafe au lait
Et il a repose la tasse
Sans me parler
Il a allume
une cigarette
Il a fait des ronds
Avec la fumee
Il a mis le cendres
Dans le cendrier
Sans me parler
Sans me regarder
Il s’est leve
Il a mis
Son chapeau sur sa tete
Il a mis
Son manteau de pluie
Parce qu’il pleuvait
Et il est parti
Sous la pluie
Sans une parole
Sans me regarder
Et moi j’ai pris
Mon tete dans ma main
Et j’ai pleure.

Engrish* in Taiwan

By panda_eyed
Hi All, I haven't been very well lately and so I've been a bit neglectful of the blog and all you smashing bloggers, so sorry! I've been at home, sleeping a great deal and watching lots of crap TV, so you'll forgive me for not having much to blog about. I thought I'd post some funny photos that I took in Taiwan last Christmas. They tickled me a great deal!

A shoe shop
Kiss them, dammit, what you waitin' for??

A signpost in Taiwan's national park
Better than watching paint dry, anyday.

Another shoe shop -
Sod hoes! Steady on..

The design on a packet of lobster crackers -
It reads 'Lobster with big eyes' (- ?!!)

And last but not least, a dessert menu in a cafe -
You can choose from one ball or tow ball - or - Screw icecream! Have a muffing!

LOL! Later potater xx

*Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in oriental advertising and product design (definition by Engrish.com)