Heartbroken

Category: , By panda_eyed
Perhaps I tempted fate with my last blog, perhaps I was smug cos I was so happy, but here I am, barely able to see to type, because of the tears blurring my vision. We broke up. Or rather, he broke up with me. To say I'm devastated would be an understatement. I have this ache in my heart that doesn't feel like it's ever going to go away.

It's complicated. There are issues with family (his), and with visas. He says he's being kinder this way because he can't give me a definite time on when he can return, and that I deserve more than having to wait around for him. He will return, but perhaps not this year. When he does, and if we're both still single, then we'll reassess. I'm not flying over to see him next week.

We'll remain friends. He has always been my best friend first and foremost, and I don't want to lose that. But that doesn't make me feel any better. All our dreams, all our plans, they may never happen now. I feel like I've lost my purpose. It feels like I'll never be truly happy again.

If I'd had known that the last time we said goodbye at the airport was the last time that I'd be in his arms, I would have held on tighter and not have let go. I am broken.
 

6 comments so far.

  1. Olivia 8:41 pm, February 03, 2009
    The last paragraph was very touching. You already know what else I had to say.

    Love you sweetie.

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
  2. Flighty 9:32 am, February 04, 2009
    Thinking of you! Hugs! xx
  3. divastar 4:19 pm, February 04, 2009
    Oh baby girl, I wish I could give you loads of hugs, I will save them up for Saturday for you sweetie but until then here are some virtual ones *HUGE HUGS* Love you lots xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  4. panda_eyed 6:09 pm, February 05, 2009
    Thank you all for your comments and support. You're all lovely friends and I truly appreciate you xxx
  5. nikkipolani 7:07 pm, February 16, 2009
    Oh Pandy. What devastating news! I'm sorry, dearheart, that you've had to say goodbye to someone so near to your soul.
  6. panda_eyed 11:17 pm, February 16, 2009
    Nikki, it makes me very sad. I guess some things just aren't meant to be, hey? Thanks for your comment, lovely xxx

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