From half-empty to half-full. Ish.
I used to be a pessimist. I used to dwell on every bad thing that did, or could, happen and obsess about it continuously. I would get angry over every little thing, and I had a very short and very bad temper. God forbid if you crossed me! Only in the last couple of years have I begun to learn to let things go, to be more optimistic and say 'This, too, shall pass'. I do smile more now, I'm more upbeat, I have more patience, and I'm sure it's made me a nicer person; but, whilst these things come naturally to some people, I have had to force myself to be and do these things, to make that change, because I hated being that moody, irritable cow that I was before.Over time, it's become so much easier to be 'sunny', and it does come more naturally now. I don't have to force myself to see the bright side, because I already can see it; don't have to remind myself to smile, because I'm already smiling; don't have to make myself be cheerful - well, you get the picture. I have become a whole other person without knowing it, and I like this girl, I finally like being me.
I couldn't have coped with being diagnosed with ME/CFS a few years ago, and even though I have my days when there seems to be a black cloud not only hanging over me, but also chucking down rain, thunder, lightning and hale, I have surprised myself by not being steam-rollered by this (In my head, it's a bit like the cartoon characters popping back into 3-d again after being flattened :). I'm not saying it's always easy. Little things may not get me down anymore, but every now and then I have a lapse, and then that ugly, angry person comes out again. Hormones play a big part in this*.
Last week, I purposely went a whole week without blogging. We had the bad news that I was dreading but, yet, knew was coming; it depressed me a whole bunch, and I didn't want to write yet another depressing entry. I tried to blog about other things, but I didn't really have it in me, and, still, don't. Sometimes, a girl does need a little help in being cheerful.
Can anyone help..?
*A tip - a high-calcium, low-fat diet does wonders for PMT-related mood-swings!
You need to come over to Reading again soon! We're working on it...
Oh and I DO have a brother - dunno if he'd be your type though! ;-)
If your brother is as lovely as you are, that'd be fine ;) It's really great how you've taken such good care of Diva whilst she's been sick. I'm looking forward to seeing all of you soon! xx
Lots of love
The Grumpalump that is Ames!
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Just don't be bothered about writing blogs that you want or need to now and then, it's better to write about it and let it out than the fester on it! :) x
Anyway, I am so glad I have you (and Ames and Diva and nags) in my life. You all make the world a brighter place, and when it begins to cloud over, you help wipe the darkness away.
To see you now, I almost wouldn't believe that you used to be a grump and I admire how you haven't lapsed into your original self. I didn't know people could change. Well done, Pandy-boo.
Love loads
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And you're not such a grumpalump - you've always been sweet and sunny with me! I think you're an optimist at heart :) xxxxxxxx
Pinky, sometimes it's better to let things out, yes. But sometimes writing things down makes it more real, and it's soul-draining thinking the whole thing through again. I'm just a bit tired, emotionally, I think. Thanks though xxx
Nikki, thanks honey. It's not really my bad news, but it does affect everyone in my family. Thanks for your words of wisdom - tis very true. My sunny side will be back soon, no doubt. xxxxxxxx
Hi Flighty, I did - thanks! It made me giggle, and I needed it :) Hug hug back xxxxxxxx
Livsylou, it was something I jokily asked Diva in a text, because Nags was being so brilliant whilst she was sick :)
Aww bunny, I'm so glad I have you lot in my life too - I don't know what I ever did without you guys! xxxxxxxx
And I agree with Ames on that last bit :D
:D
;)
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