If I could see you now
My granddad was a great man and he was loved by all who knew him. He touched the hearts of everyone he came across because he had a big, kind heart, an extremely generous nature and the best sense of humour.
He was a simple man who took pleasure in his family, friends and neighbours. He once served his country in the Hong Kong army. He didn’t achieve great wealth, material possession nor status, but he was a great man, simply because he treated everyone with respect and love, and he would have given his last penny and last ounce of strength to help someone in need.
Once, during the Battle of Hong Kong with Japan, despite having no energy left from having nothing to eat, he rescued a woman who had been beaten within an inch of her life and left in a ditch to die. If he had been caught helping her, he would have faced the same fate. She survived.
My best memory of him is riding high on his shoulders through the park where we would walk everyday. He could never pronounce my English name perfectly, and as a result, I had a pet name that only he called me. He was a keen gardener and loved all of nature’s offerings. When we went to stay with him, he would cook our favourites every night – he was the best cook. He would scare me and my sister with his false teeth, then laugh and laugh at us. He was quite deaf and needed a hearing aid, but rarely switched it on. This meant that he would often mis-hear what we said, with hilarious results. He was a silly, lovable man.
He helped and touched a great many people in his lifetime. You would have been blessed to know him.
He died in March 1998, and has been missed a great deal since. But on Saturday night, he came to visit me in a dream. I have dreamt about him before, but this felt different. The few seconds he was in my dream felt so real. He looked just as he had been when he was younger. He told me that I needed to look after and watch out for my grandma. My grandma is now almost completely blind, getting more and more cantankerous and hasn’t been well lately. I was crying in my sleep because I had missed him so much.
I’d like to believe it was real, but I know it was only a dream and not a divine channelling of instruction. But that hasn’t stopped me from trying to figure out what the dream meant. My gran is in Hong Kong, and I am here. Some of my aunties and uncles want to put her in a nursing home now that she needs 24-hour, around-the-clock care, but I know she doesn’t want to go. How can I protest against her 7 children, at least 5 of whom want to put her in a home? It’s not as if I can put up the money to continue paying for a live-in carer. It’s such a sad situation – it seems that either way, no one can win. My gran doesn’t want to come and live here with her children and grandchildren because she likes her home in Hong Kong, but a live-in carer is no longer sufficient for her level of disability. It’s terrible watching loved ones get old.
What can I do to fulfil my granddad's wishes?
All you can do is tell everyone that your Gran definitely wouldn't be happy in a home. If they don't listen then they haven't really got your Gran's best interests at heart but maybe more what's convenient to them.
You can but try.Xxxx
GAH! You know what I mean!
It's not fair that between 7 people they can't take care of their mum. WAs the same with my Gran - 9 other offspring and no one would send my mum money to help THEIR mum.
xoxoxoxoxox
my moms father died before I was born.
My mom's mother is in a home but we visit every day
my other gran lives in her farm house with my uncle as her neighbour
I hope it works out for you honey.
(( ))
Livvy, I know what you mean. I wish there was more I could do for my gran though. Recently, a few things have come to light -the worst being that my uncle and his wife have borrowed £20,000 from the money that my grandad left for my grandma so that she would be well looked after in her old age, and they are refusing to pay it back. They claim that over the years, they have given her small amounts of money (as you do in Chinese culture with elderly parents) that have added up to that much. They haven't taken into account that the other 6 offspring have also given the same amount over the years, nor that they've eaten into the funds so much that there's barely enough money left for a live-in carer anymore. It makes me sad. They are far from paupers (new house, new cars, children go to private schools, lucrative business) but no one can force them to give the money back. I am surprised though, that their conscience has not gotten the better of them. I'm so angry!
It's nice that you're so close to your grandparents.
Nikki, now you've said that, I wonder too. Chinese people are quite superstitious, so it may spur them into making the right decision. Good thinking! Thanks sweetie :)
Sioned, it sure felt like that a method of communication. I only wish he's stayed for a bit longer, just to chat, you know? I'll do all I can for my grandma.
I think it will work out YM, my grandad is watching over us, and he'll make sure we do the right thing. Thanks luvvy (( ))
Feathers, I want to believe so badly that he did. It's hard for me to combine spiritual beliefs with 'real life', especially since I have a science background. I like to think that departed ones are happier elsewhere though, and looking down on us.
If I could be half the person my grandad was, I think I could be very proud. Thanks for your support, Feather.
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