Yes, tis me! I hope you didn't think I'd deserted you; after all, so many people have left blogging recently, but fear not, I'm not one of them! I do owe you guys an explanation though - as you know, I was in Hong Kong in the first week of April, and ever since I've been back, I've been ill with vile respiratory tract infections. It's been a horrid two weeks, and probably the most ill I've been in years, but am starting to come out of the daze of painkillers and antibiotics. I can breathe, talk, laugh without coughing, and eat again (hurray!), and the dizziness has abated enough for me to see the words I'm typing - woohoo!

Hong Kong was fun - it seems so long ago that I hardly remember it now. Actually, the weirdest thing was seeing my lab partner from uni when I landed at HK airport, getting on the same bus as me, and again at the airport on my way back - she was on the flight after mine. Small world, huh..? Anyway, I ate loads, and put on a few pounds, as I usually do when I go over there. I actually wanted to talk about weight - I just finished watching the Channel 4 documentary, SuperSkinny Me: The Race to Size Double Zero. It focused on two journalists trying to slim down from a UK size 12 to a size 2 (US size 00) in just five weeks. I watched with horror but not without fascination, as I'm sure most women watching did. Because, lets face it, who doesn't think that they could stand to lose a few lbs or an inch off the spare tyre?

During the program, I found, worryingly, that I shared a lot of the feelings and symptoms the women had during the experiment. You see, before I went to Hong Kong, I had been trying to lose some weight. I'd put on a few lbs, and it was becoming noticeable. I've pretty much been the same weight since I was 17 (aside from losing and regaining 10lbs when I was ill in 2002), but since I've had ME/CFS, I've been a lot less active, and although it didn't really show hugely on the scales, it's started to show on my body shape. As I'm not really able to do any cardiac exercise because of CFS 'flare-ups', the only thing I can control is what I eat. Just by eating slightly smaller portions and cutting out unhealthy snacks, I lost half a stone in 3 weeks (which shows you how much I snacked!), but strangely, I don't look any skinnier at all! Anyway, the women in the experiment reported constantly thinking about and becoming obsessed with food, which is exactly how I felt during weeks two and three of my 'diet'. Week one was fine - I didn't change what I ate, just chewed slowly and savoured flavours and textures, stopping when my stomach started to become full. I was thinking, 'Gosh, this isn't so hard'. But after mid week 2, every day just got harder and harder. I craved EVERYTHING, and was constantly talking and thinking about food pretty much every moment I wasn't eating, as well as evaluating how full/empty my stomach felt every other second. Food was my every thought. It wasn't very nice for me or the people around me, just as in the experiment.

Of course, being ill these two weeks and not being able to eat, I lost the holiday weight from HK and a little bit more. In the words of Emily from The Devil Wears Prada, 'I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight' Just kidding :) Now that I've regained my appetite, I'm finding that I'm constantly starving to the point of dizziness, and consequently eating like a heifer. I have a feeling that all my suffering will have come to nothing if I carry on like this!

The difference between me and the women in the experiment was that with me, the weight needed to be lost - I had a BMI of 26 (overweight) and now have a more respectable BMI of 25 and don't feel as bloated as before. Watching the documentary though, and seeing what the two women went through to achieve a skinny body shape, I can tell you that I would never ever go to those lengths to lose weight or look good. For one, I love eating too much; two, I don't like getting sweaty; and three, who finds a bag of bones attractive anyway? I think I'll just eat normally but a little more healthier from now on, I'm not cut out for this dieting lark! :)

I hope you've all been well, and I shall definitely spend a few hours catching up on blogs tomorrow. Be good!

Love Panda xx

I'm back! I've been back a few days now, but I think I have blogger's block, because I've come online a few times, meaning to tell you all about my trip to Hong Kong, Shen Zhen and Macau, but I've just been staring at the page, not knowing where to start or what to write. I think I might just start typing now, and see where it takes me.

Photos - I have so many, but dread having to load them, sort them, and publish them, and so have put it off. Sorry! I have got some good ones though, so will do it sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.

Flying - Guess who got upgraded to FIRST both the journeys there and back..? Hehe, they must recognise that I am a girl who will not tolerate anything less than excellence ;) . I had champagne, canapes, a full range of movies, designer food, a fully-flat bed, velvet slippers, pajamas, a duvet and a mattress! I have never slept so much on a plane! WooT! Get me! :)

New years resolutions - How many times, since I've been back, have I seen the title 'A New Year, A New You'? It's getting annoying. I tend not to make resolutions, but I'd like to try and
get rid of my spare tyre. Carry on reading, and I'll tell you why, besides starting to look like I'm wearing a float around my middle. I haven't gotten off to a good start - I bought lots of snack food back from HK, and Sainsburys have had lots of discounted seasonal produce (chocolate, biscuits, chocolate biscuits), and I haven't held back. I think I should get some tips from Youngmummy and Mylozmom..

Hong Kong Skinnies - One bad thing about going to HK is that I always feel bad about my weight. Everyone there is soooo petite and skinny, and to them, my size 12/14 (UK average, and a 'medium') must seem morbidly obese. I'm not exaggerating. I have to buy clothes in XL sizes. I say this with shame, but I am a size XXXL over there! ARGGHHH! Every girl's nightmare.

On Christmas weight gain - regular eating out, dim sum, and general yummy food in HK = baaad for weight. On returning, I jumped on the scales. They protested. I'd put on 5lbs! Strangely enough though, the next morning, before I'd had breakfast and after having taken all my clothes off and having had a wee (lol), the scales said I'd lost 5 lbs since the day - how is that?! Either clothes, food and wee weigh a LOT or I need new scales.

Doing a 'Houdini' in a fitting room - Whilst January sale shopping, I realised a new talent. I saw a pretty corset in my size, which I decided to try on, to see if it would do anything for my tummy. It was one that you pull over your head, and then zip up. I got it on fine, but then found the zip wouldn't do up, so I gave up and tried to take it off. You know what happens next..
It wouldn't budge - I would need an extra pair of hands to pull from the top. Like hell I'm going to go out there and ask the surly shop assistant. 5 minutes later, I'm contemplating cutting myself out with nail scissors, or just ripping the damn thing. Then, I find that I can wriggle it more downwards than up. Hurrah! I undid my belt, took my jeans off and extremely slowly, managed to wriggle out! I emerged from the changing rooms red, sweaty and out of breath. That was the defining moment in realising that I must shed a few pounds.

On being back - Waking up in the morning not knowing if it's day or night has been depressing. I miss being able to bask in the sunshine every morning too. I might get myself one of those UV light machines :) Still, there's no place like home, and I am glad to have my own bed, long luxurious baths, and proper English tea! It made me smile to come back and see the big bright moon in the sky - in HK, it is much smaller, and lies on it's side. I'm not kidding, the crescent moon is the shape of a sad mouth there, I have pics to prove it!

I had a good trip overall, and I realise I haven't said much about it, but I don't want to cram everything into one big post. I'm just going to take my sweet time, and you shall all have to be patient :) I'm signing off now, but I hope you all had a brilliant holiday season, and happy 2007!